The writer reaches a point of insight in the negation of their previously held beliefs, but unfortunately falls into the same logic that they are decrying by failing to synthesize it.
Their progression of thought has basically been: 1. There is racism in the world. I want to change that. 2. I’ll become an anti-racism trainer. 3. Wait a second, this paradigm of teaching anti-racism is not effecting a fundamental change to structural racism for white people. 4. I should cease being an anti-racism trainer. 5. Yup, that’s it.
My observation is that it’s unproductive to simply say that anti-racism training should stop. We feel a sense of immediate identification in the author’s revelations of their inability to change a paradigm on their own. We eagerly cling to this critique of negation, and lift it up as insightful, correct, just. The problem is that is simply negates, and does not synthesize - and this, to me, is the quintessential conundrum of the Left today.
We don’t need less theory, we need more critical theory. Perhaps the resolution is not to stop teaching, but to stop teaching. Humans don’t learn by being taught, they learn by doing, and people who are in a position to work with people and do it with them serve a critical role. Whether that role is formulated as an instructor, a collaborator, a partner, a comrade – this is a malleable relationship…